An Inappropriate Report
by little kinky miss feng
Summary: Ed has to rewrite his report. Hawkeye offers him help.But she cannot trust her eyes as she reads it.Funny!Edward is a bit dumb in this fic.


An Inappropriate Report

After handing in several reports and rewriting them and re-rewriting them and maybe re-re-rewriting them, after several fights between him and the Colonel , Edward is done with it. He tried hard , very hard to write the reports as detailed as possible, but the Colonel was` nt never satisfied with. It sucks. Furious he turned around from the desk stomping out of the office. He was always angry for having to do the work again, but today he also looked a little sad, Hawkeye noticed.

She excused for having some other work to do and left the office after Edward. Edward was trotting down the Hallway with hanging shoulders." Hey Ed, do you have me let a look at it", she approached the boy from behind. " Do as you like", he handed her the the report, " You can just slam it as the colonel did." " That wasn`t my intention. Maybe I can help you with it." " You would do that", Edward smiled." I tried to do it as detailed as possible, really, but it seems to be still not adequate."

Hawkeye got a fast look at it, "Yes its indeed detailed", she said in a curious tone."What do you say, I take a proper look at it first and hand it back to you tomorrow. I give you some notes for advice so you can fix it then."

" Really, thank you so much Lieutenant ."

Back to the office.

" Hawkeye what do you have there?", Mustang asked. " Nothing, just some work to do." "Ah, looks urgend .

At her desk, Hawkeye began to read the report :

_Dear Colonel Bastard, this is my report about the Journey ( `Journey ? Hawkeye sight) to Waldenburg. It was a really nice trip on the train. Me and Al got a lot of sweets at the train station before we boarded , mhhh yummy! I ate the whole back in 10 minutes and got a little train sick after wards. I nearly threw up on an old lady `s handbag which sat next to me. Military important note : Dont eat to much sweets in so less time! Note end! ( Hawkeye face palmed!) _

_After a refreshing sleep and two hours later we finally arrived at lovely Waldenburg. Al searched for a cheap hotel, but I convinced him to take the one with the see view, which was more expensive but who cares. Or not Colonel, you would also choose the see view, say it?(Oh no, he told you not to spend so much money!)_

_Later that evening we went to the city to investigate about the philosophers stone. Note to Colonel and others: Pssh it`s confidental. Note end! ( H. face palmed again)_

_At an Inn we met some nice people who treated us to beans and bread, as well as beer -I drank just a bit. (Ed your not allowed, damn.) _

_At the end I had to fart really loud. Pouh that stank. Everyone laughed and I turned red. Al scolded me. Note: Don` t tell anyone, pleaaase. Note End. ( H. bursts out in laughter. Mustang askes about the reason. H. shakes head)But I didn`t mind much and we danced on the tables till the room started spinning. I laughed so much I didn`care. ( Yeah, only a bit of beer, I have to talk a proper word with you.)_

_The nice people told me about an magician with a long gray beard (hihi- like Dumbledor) who sells rare stones, maybe he has a philosophers stone for me. (Yes surely Al `_°)_

_So early the next morning (13:00) we paid him a visit. He had indeed a lot of stones, some looked like glass , others were sparkling , some actually glowed in the dark. _

_But best was he had a philosophers stone he said, I` m so lucky , we paid only 100 Gallions (_don`t know what money they have, but it shall be much) _for it. Al and I hugged and we made it just in time for the next train to HQ. On the train I took a proper look on the stone and realised it hadn`t the same color as described in the books and it smells kind of sour, like lemon. Shit,... holy shit : It is an urinal cake, can`t believe it._

_So this was another wasted journey. But we had fun that is the most important, ne Colonel?_

_Yours best wishes Edward "The one and only Fullmetal Alchemist" Elric._

_P.S. : Forgot to bring your book back. I`ll bring it later._

Hawkeye sight, "The kid still don`t know what a military report is, I think. That will be a lot of teaching.

End


End file.
